Road Trippin' and the Blessing of Friendship

" Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?" 

                                                                                          CS Lewis

There are certain advantages to growing up the way our kids have. They have seen many different places and aren't very intimidated by new adventures and meeting new people. But  there are also some disadvantages to moving roughly every 3 years. I used to think that my kids just didn't have the same kind of relationships that kids who grow up in the same town for most of their childhood do. One of my favorite movies from childhood was Ann of Green Gables. It was one of the first VHS tapes I owned and I must have watched it a 100 times. There are so many wonderful things to love about the story of an orphan being adopted and raised on a little island in Nova Scotia, but I always a little envious of the friendship between Ann and Diana. Ann refers to Diana as "A bosom friend- an intimate friend, you know- a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul."  I always longingly wanted this type of friendship for not only myself, but also for Emily.

Last weekend, I realized for the first time how truly blessed Emily has been with a few dear friends from around the world. Deep abiding friendships that have stood the test of time and have been strengthened despite distance and separations.

It was Jessica's 17th Birthday and the Greenwood High Prom. On Friday the question came: "Could I please drive down and eat lunch with Jess tomorrow and spend some time with her as she gets ready for Prom?" It was on the tip of my tongue to say no, when my ever practical husband shocked me by saying she could go. What?? It's an hour away! She's never driven that far by herself! and with gas near $4 a gallon!! What was he thinking??? Perhaps he was remembering that our little girl isn't so little anymore and that at her age he drove from Birmingham, AL to Fort Jackson, SC for army basic training. Whatever the reason, last Saturday morning Emily took off on her first road trip to see one of her oldest and dearest friends. I had one condition...I wanted a picture of the 2 of them.

Emily met Jessica when she was 7 years old, just before the start of 2nd grade. We had just moved to Greenwood, SC. Looking for some fun, the kids and I went on an outing with the church we had visited the Sunday before. Jessica's Mom, Susan has truly never met a stranger and she greeted us that day as old friends, introducing the kids around and making us feel at home. Turned out they lived just around the corner from us and Emily and Jessica were going to be in the same 2nd grade class. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Music Camp 2003

A friendship filled with walking home from school, church, choir, brownies, matching ladybug overalls and days spent in each others houses giggling and being silly. Two girls who embraced their differences and loved each other; able to rejoice in the other's triumphs and grieve along with the hardships. Jessica's family was there the night we loaded the last of our belongings in the van and left Greenwood for the Philippines. There were quite a few tears that night. See, Jess also has a brother who is a dear friend of Will's. It's always an added benefit when your friends can provide playmates for your pesky younger brother.

A Final Goodbye 2005

I will never forget a few years later when everyone in Greenwood kept the fact that Emily was coming home for the summer a secret from Jessica so that Emily was able to show up on her doorstep for a sweet surprise reunion. (Also filled with a few tears)

Surprise! 2007

In the year and a half following our return to the US, I spent many days driving an hour down the road for the kids to spend time together, never going more than a few weeks without a visit. But time marches on and as we settled into a new life and Emily went off to high school and made friends in a new town, those visits got fewer and fewer. They still keep in touch though. In fact recently, Jess just had to text Em late one Saturday night  after Prom to get the scoop on the evening.

LM Montgomery writes in Anne of Green Gables that “True friends are always together in spirit." Jessica and Emily are a living example of this. A friendship build over 10 years that neither time nor distance can destroy.

at 17!

A man of many companions may come to ruin, 

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 

Emily has been greatly blessed by a few other abiding friendships. Her first "best friend" was Micaela. Their friendship started out by default when they met at the age of 3 in gymnastics and their mothers and brothers became best friends.

in 2000 at age 4

They really had no choice but to be friends since they were constantly in each other's company. At times that relationship struggled as they were so different. But through the years and with a little maturity, a beautiful friendship has developed. The girls text and Facetime on their iPods often. When we get together they laugh and giggle about times past and speak earnestly about the present and the future. Sharing hopes, dreams, and deep secrets. That friendship has been good for two young Christian women traversing the stresses of the teenage years.

on a family vacation together in 2007

On the other side of the world, living most of her life in the Philippines, is Jaina. She welcomed Emily into a new country and a new school and the life of an MK.  They became fast friends which helped ease Emily's adjustment into life in a foreign land. In July, Jaina will be visiting us for about a week while she is in the States for the summer looking at colleges. Hopefully, Emily will be able to return the favor as Jaina begins to prepare for life in America after high school.

I've come to discover that true friendship is not dependent on just living in the same town as someone for a long time. True friendship is built on certain things:

First, it loves unconditionally. "A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17. Unconditionally means even when you have heard about NASCAR and Matt Kenseth until you think you might scream. Or when hurtful words are spoken. Being accepting of each others' weaknesses and imperfections

Second, it involves trust and faithfulness. "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24) Through thick and thin, distance and time, they will be there for you whenever you need them.

Thirdly, it involves the ability to speak truth even when it hurts. Proverbs 27:6 says "Wounds from a friend can be trusted." Is there anything more precious than a friend who is willing to stick by you and tell you in love, those hard things we really don't want to hear. To illuminate our sin and call us to a restored relationship with our Savior.

 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Who knew 17 years ago that Emily would have a good friend who goes to her high school and her church that she has known since birth. She would tell you that family doesn't count as friends, but I think she's wrong. What a blessing that 2 girls born as cousins would turn out to be the best of friends.

Cousins or Friends? Can't it be both?

Update: After posting the above blog, my friend Susan sent me pictures of a scrapbook page she made when the girls were in 2nd grade and they had on their matching ladybug outfits.

I love the precious words Susan wrote at that time: