Nurses Training

One of the most common questions I get from other missionaries is "Are you a nurse?" My response is usually the same--only by my husband's training. I have gotten pretty proficient at taking vital signs and checking urine-analysis strips. Having not been a nurse in the US or had any formal training, I often have to see and deal with things that are new. I actually make a terrible nurse when I observe and help take care of wounds. I always cringe and hurt myself whenever I have to clean wounds. I have decided that I really don't like puss. Allan and Ling must understand this because I am not asked to do this often. I have gotten good at pricking fingers to check blood sugar and hematocrit. I used to be really timid and wince when ever I pricked someone. I learned this only makes things worse when you have to stick them again because you didn't get enough blood.

There is one thing I am not sure even training could have prepared me for--watching someone physically deteriorate. In May just before Scott left, one of our patients came to clinic. Allan and Scott were suspicious that he had cancer. After a few tests and a chest x-ray the docs were almost certain it was lung cancer. Most of our patients can't afford treatment for cancer and the patient and his family chose not to have a biopsy to confirm this diagnosis. As I took his vitals the next time he came in, I thought he looked strong and healthy. Surely he wasn't as sick as Allan thought. He continued to come to clinic every few weeks over the summer. Each time his weight dropping more and more. If you read one of our our recent newsletters, you will know that in the Filipino culture it is not appropriate to directly tell someone they are dying. So while his family knew that he likely had cancer, I am not really sure how much he knew or even how much the family understood or believed.

Towards the end of August, while I was weighing him, he was distressed at his drop in weight. This quote is from an email sent to Scott in August: "Since you left he has dropped 4 kilos-about 1k a month. He was most distressed at this today. His pulse has also risen from about 80-88 back in April and May to 115 the last 2 months. He also doesn't look very good and his voice is weak and raspy. I of course have no idea if these things mean anything to you, but I thought I would let you know that he is visibly deteriorating." It was at that time that the family also accepted the fact that their father was dying.

Yesterday, his son and son-in-laws carried him in for a check up. I have never watched anyone visibly decline before my eyes over such a short period of time (5 months). He cannot stand without assistance. His breathing has become increasingly labored and Allan says the mass in the chest is obviously pressing on both trachea and heart. He is also in more pain now than before. Allan thinks he will not see Christmas. He gave him some medicine to help with the pain. It was so heart wrenching to see him struggle to even breathe. He was our last patient of the day and instead of our daily devotions, Ling, Allan and I just spent time in prayer for him and his family. I am not sure I could have been prepared for this even with training and experience as Allan and Ling were just as touched and upset over the situation.

Today Allan and I went to visit him in his home. Allan wanted to see how he was feeling and bring him the wheelchair from the clinic so that his family can push him around the house or out into the sunshine. The medicine had helped him to feel a little better and I think the family was comforted by our visit, especially his wife. While it was by no means a happy or pleasant visit, it was good for Allan and I to make a "house call". I think we sometimes forget exactly how our patients live.